Attitude

Our morning Bible reading has us going through Exodus. Lately, I feel like a grumbling Israelite. I feel like I can't trust. I feel discouraged and not very hopeful. I feel like God has abandoned me.
It's a good thing these are only feelings and not truth. God is faithful no matter how I feel. He is with me whether I can sense his presence or not. He is still working even though I can't see it.
Just like in the Psalms, I  need to say how I feel before I can see how wretched I am and how merciful God is. Then I can cry out, "Lord, help me!".
And He answers. He gives us just what we need. It might not be what we wanted, but He knows better than we what is necessary. Theron and his mom continue visits to see his dad, who is now in rehab again. The kids and I have been sick quite a bit, so have not gone as often as before. We are just getting over another bout of illness. Only God knows what is next and I guess this is another opportunity to trust Him.

On Hold

We have asked Bethany to put us on hold while we take care of Theron's parents. His mom has been living with us and we have been taking her for daily visits to see her husband. He was in a rehab facility in Snellville, but as of last Saturday he has been in Eastside Medical Center with pneumonia.
We had begun remodeling our downstairs to put in a bedroom. Originally it was for the grandparents, but we are not sure now. Things keep changing.
It has been a hard road watching Theron's dad improve and then have another setback. He had gotten to the point in rehab that he was getting up into his wheelchair on his own. We would have lunch with him once a week and the kids played a game of Skip-Bo with him one day. Now he is back in the hospital connected to wires and tubes and the kids can't see him.

God's Timing/ Grandparents

God knew we needed this time to care for Theron's parents. We have taken some trips to Tennessee, although not as many trips as his sisters have taken. There are decisions to be made for them. Things are getting packed up. Facilities are being checked out.
My heart aches for them. This couple that has been together all of their married lives is now seperated by circumstances beyond their control.
He - in a rehab facility recovering from a punctured lung and three broken ribs.
She - dependant on someone to drive her to visit him.
Neither one of them ask for much.
During my short time knowing them, I've not heard one of them complain.
He - would take the kids for "tractor" rides with his lawnmower.
She - made a special doll for Hannah that is very precious to her.
In the past when we've visited, we would attend services with them at their church in Mine City. Now they are not able to go.

Theron is dealing with all this. So many changes.

We don't know what tomorrow holds, but we must Trust God.

Waiting

Some people say this is the hardest part and I agree.
Our excitement has waned and we are clueless as to when anything will happen.
This is where trust really comes in.
Waiting on God's perfect timing and his choice for us and the kids that are out there.
Praying, waiting, trusting.

Approved

We just got word that we've been approved by the state for adoption. I don't feel as excited as I thought I would feel, probably because I am worn out from the events of yesterday and today. Spending all day at the doctor's and hospital takes it out of you. And this morning having to see your child go through another painful experience (shot in his thigh), only added to my stress. Thankfully Theron was able to work from home and I was able to take a much needed nap today. I know I won't feel this way forever.
For now, I just want to pray for the right match for our family.

SOLD

Finally I got some bites from my postings on Craig's List. I sold my massage table to a man in Snellville who was getting it for his neice who neeeded it. Yah!

Then, we sold the bookcase headboard bed to a family in Douglasville. They had to drive a long way, but they felt it was worth it. They needed it for their 8 year old son. I'm so glad these people were able to use these items.

We still have an antique oak bed for sale. Hopefully it will find a good home soon, too.

A Peek at the Boys' Room

It's been a while so I thought I would show you the progress on the wall of the boys' room (Josiah and that brother we're praying for). I did not get any guesses as to what I was painting. Maybe you can tell now. I still have detail work to do on it, in between cleaning out clutter, and organizing. I feel like I'm in nesting mode. And I feel that God has given us this time to prepare our hearts and our home.


Good News! We have heard that Bethany has officially approved our application. We are currently waiting on the State's approval, but there is plenty to do while we "wait".

Hannah's Loft

We worked really hard last night and got Hannah's room cleaned out and one more bed installed.

That makes Three

We had our third home study on Friday where the adoption specialist came to our house and talked to us and the kids and we showed her around.

Today I put the second coat of sealer on the last two loft/trundle beds. They are looking very nice. Theron really did alot of work to put these together and make them sturdy.

Two Down, One to Go

So, we've had our second home study and will be having our third and last soon. This time Autumn will come to our house.
I'm happy to say I've made some more progress on the beds. We decided to set them all up in the garage and stain/varnish them in there instead of one piece at a time on the porch. It felt good to get so much accomplished.
Josiah is enjoying his new loft bed and Hannah is excited that she will be getting one, too. We have not been able to sell the old beds yet, so I am just praying for God's timing.

Josiah in a Loft

Today was a special day, because Hannah and Josiah had both earned their date night with a parent card (part of the Accountable Kids Program) and we did it a little different this time. We rode together (therefore saving gas) to Wendy's and Josiah and I sat at a table in one area of the restaraunt while Hannah and Theron sat at another. When we left there, we rode together to Malibu, got our combined ticket deal, split up the tickets and tokens then went off to our seperate fun. Hannah and Josiah each got special one on one time with one of us and we maybe saved some money. After a busy day at Malibu - riding boats armed with water-squirters, putt-putt, go-carts, and other games, plus a stop at the grocery store, we rested and got a second wind. Theron decided that I had put enough sealer on the first loft bed and wanted to install it in Josiah's room.
We moved furniture, took apart and stored the full bed, and vacuumed. Then we set up the new bed that Theron made! Add mattress and sheets and it's ready! Josiah was so excited. He's sleeping in it for the first time tonight. Here's Hannah tucking him in.

Classes and Projects

Theron and I have both completed our CPR/FIRST AID classes and received a certificate. We had a very good and upbeat instructor. She even sang songs and made us sing, too. But you know, those little ditties stick in your head.



Today, after the morning of classes, I dove into a project long overdue. Josiah's bedroom wall was painted in 2007, but never completed. The tired painter left a big blob that was suppose to somehow turn into something, but it stayed the same all these years. Pretty sad. The thought of a home inspection and wanting the room to look appealing to someone new coming in, prompted me to action. Plus, I've been staring at it lately and finally got an idea which Josiah is excited about.



Hannah got a picture of me stirring the paint.

I got pictures of her helping.

Gotta cover up all that red!

Well, almost all of it. It's beginning to look better. Can you tell what it is going to be?

One Down, Two to Go

Homestudies, that is.

Our adoption specialist is a homeschool graduate! What more could you ask for?

Bethany has a children's room with a video player for the kids, too.

Every step is getting us closer.

First Home Study Coming Up

We get to meet our adoption specialist on Thursday and have our first of three home studies - another step in our journey. We are excited.
My fingerprints finally went through. That's good news.
Wish I could tell you more, but that's it for now.

Gotta Give It Up

In anticipation of adopting, there are some things we will be letting go of. Just material things, though. Some have sentimental value, but when I think of what others have had to give up, it pales in comparison. We will be replacing the kids beds with the twin trundle beds that Theron is making. Hannah and Josiah are excited, which is a good thing. Josiah will be giving up his full size bed with a bookcase headboard. It probably doesn't mean much to him. It was the bed I shared with my sister when we were young. Well, not just my sister, my sister and ALL OF OUR DOLLS. We had so many dolls, we put some in our bed between us and some in a doll bed beside the bed. One night, I fell out of my bed into the doll bed. I did not realize it until I woke sometime later feeling a bit uncomfortable.


Hannah will be giving up her bed, too, which is an antique 3/4 bed. It's an odd size and requires a custom made mattress. This is the bed I used most of my life, until I got married. It's a beautiful bed.

I'm also giving up my massage table. I had a short-lived massage business in 1994 -95. I'm not too sad to see this go. It just takes up closet space.

To update you on our progress - Theron turned in most of our paperwork on Saturday. We had a CPR/First Aid class which I was unable to attend, because Hannah was sick with a fever and cough. I will make it up later. I also have to go in to try to give my elusive finger prints again. The new technology that scans your prints has some kinks that need working out, I think. So many people have to redo theirs! I am not the first to have to go back.

Labor of Love

At the beginning of March, Theron began work on 3 twin size loft beds with trundle beds underneath, which have been in his mind long before. Now we are seeing his ideas take shape.



His inspiration drove him to work into the night.

He designed, measured, cut, nailed, and fastened one after another.

He bought more wood. He glued and sanded.

Headboards and footboards waiting.

And in the first part of April, I stained the first bed.

What's next? Just wait and see.

IMPACT Classes

We went to our second class on Saturday at the Bethany offices. It was a beautiful day, although a bit cold. We only saw a little rain the whole day. I walked around during the break time and took some pictures.

Our first class focused on seeing things from the adopted child's perspective. We did some exercises that put us in the child's place.

The second session was more practical and included tips on how to deal with difficult behaviors.

We received our paperwork to fill out and a list of requirements, like fingerprinting, background checks, and physicals that we need to have done.

In spite of being tired, we dove into the paperwork today. I actually started getting writer's cramp, so I had to take a break.

We had to ask the children some questions and it was interesting to hear some of their answers. It seems that they are looking forward to having more siblings to play with, and more birthdays!

I'm so glad to see spring appearing! And looking forward to what God will do through us.

What's Next?

IMPACT Classes at Bethany Christian Services, that's what. For three Saturdays in a row, Theron and I will need to attend these all day classes.

We are so thankful for friends nearby to take our children into their families for a day. Our friends, who keep Little Lady, are also pitching in during this time so she is not left alone for long hours. Instead she is getting hugs and kisses and getting to play with her sister, Chloe.

We expect the classes to be very informative, and it will be a nice time to enjoy doing something together.

Good Reading

A friend, also an adoptive parent, loaned me these books. I've already finished with the first one and I'm halfway through the second. I like being informed and hearing other people's stories. As my friend reminded me though, the best preparation of all is the Bible and prayer.

The Question

I have often asked myself the question, "Would God ever ask me to adopt?", more in a wondering way than a direct way. Every time I saw people with adopted children, I asked myself this question. I felt drawn to them somehow.


Then one day, my husband asked me to think about something. "Pray about it", he had said. Prompted by the news of events in Haiti, he wanted me to consider what we might do to help kids like that. I knew he wasn't talking about giving money. He would not even need to ask me about that. I KNEW what he was talking about, but I ask him anyway, just for clarity. "Are you talking about adoption?" When that was confirmed, I went to praying. I was excited that God was leading my husband in this, but of course, he wanted me on board, too.


Now, I was asking God the question. I also began to analyze myself and wonder what it takes to be an adoptive parent. Do I have what it takes? I spent two weeks, I think, in dialogue with God over this.


Then the REAL QUESTION came. Do I trust God? Without him, I can do nothing. The truth is I don't have what it takes if I don't trust Him. He wants me to trust Him! He wants me to follow my husband's lead and venture into the unknown and live my life for Him and not waste it.


Once I told Theron I was on board, he was ready to move forward. He scheduled us for a Discover Adoption seminar that Bethany Christian Services was offering. We attended that on February 23, 2010, while the kids stayed with our friends, the Siyams.